Question Number: 18401

Character, Attitude and Control 2/19/2008

RE: Under 15

Dave of des moines, ia us asks...

A few of questions about handling non-players.

If at a youth level game, a parent is acting up, is it the referees place to resolve the situation or is the ref expected to tell the coach of the team to handle it?

What about over-coaching, how much is too much?

Finally, as an AR on the player side of the pitch, you get to here all the little comments of the players and coaches talking amongst themselves about the ref. Should the AR adress this, or tell the center ref even though they aren't making these coments directly to the center ref?
In the past I have asked the technical area personel to keep the comments down (sometimes with humor) but I am not sure if that is the AR's place to do so.

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

As an assistant I believe you must report to your referee any instance of a coach [adult supervisor] telling his players the referee [authority figure] is incompetent or not to be listened to. Here there is clearly someone teaching children how to ignore authority. If the referee chooses to allow this kind of abuse that is his prerogative. If your assistant ever tells you the coach is being abusive, using insulting language or in any other way bringing you into a position where your authority is in question you must deal with it as irresponsible behavior.

In dealing with spectators or parents referees are obligated to use the guidelines of the state youth authority in what they do. In California there are six things those on the sidelines may not do lest they suffer expulsion from the premises or the match being terminated.

Note: if you enter into a discussion you open yourself to more abuse being piled in your direction. If you are an adult referee and someone your line is a youth assistant[s] you can not tolerate ANY abuse falling on their heads. Either it ceases or the match is over. If it's a coach doing this there is no warning, he goes away forthwith. There can be no latitude here, giving a break only tells the abuser and abused it's OK and condoned. It is far better to have a reputation as one who will not tolerate any abuse toward his linesmen, and have pleasant working conditions for them, than have the reputation of a referee who won't protect his crew...

Youth referees come back next season when it is fun, they quit when abused. Choose what's better, spectators and coaching staffs abusing linesmen or not having enough referees. Choose wisely sir.

Regards,

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

Dave, referees need to leave parents allone. They are the coaches responsibility and we expect the coaches to handle these folks. The only time the referee directly should confront a parent is if the parent runs onto the field ( and I don't mean a mom trying to get to her injured child. Leave her alone!). If as an AR you are being abused, raise your flag and get the referee's attention and then the referee should go to the coach and tell him/her the game isn't going to be restarted until the parent is quiet or gone.

Answer provided by Referee Gary Voshol

Some competition authorities will give the referees direct authority over the parents and other spectators. In that case, the referee may dismiss them directly, without going through the coach. But in general, the referee should tell the coach that such-and-so over there in the red hat is not behaving himself, and unless the poor behavior stops, the game will be terminated. Or depending on the behavior, unless he leaves immediately, the game is over.

Now, what kind of things are objectionable? Ref Fleischer notes abuse of the AR, particularly a youth AR. Other things might be berating the players (of either team), using offensive, insulting or abusive language. Inciting the team to violence ("Hit her back! Knock her on her A**! Break her leg next time!") merits an immediate dismissal. Yes, I've heard that last one, in a U12 rec game!

If the parent is saying something that we would normally consider dissent if said by a player, the parent should be warned to tone it down. The warning would be made directly to the spectator or through the coach, depending on the rules of the competition. If the dissent continues, the ref again is free to have the person removed, or else the game will be terminated.

Note that the above applies specifically to youth games, which is why I kept using the word parent. Adult games, especially those where the fans have paid to get in, are a different breed. There the ref is expected to have a thick skin and be selectively hard-of-hearing. In a youth game, players may take notice of parental comments, causing their behavior to deteriorate. That's why we stop it early, before a situation on the sideline affects play on the field. Finding that fine line between acceptable and unacceptable is an art to be learned.