Soccer Referee Resources
Ask a Question
Recent Questions

RSS FEED Subscribe Now!

Q&A Quick Search
The Field of Play
The Ball
The Players
The Players Equipment
The Referee
The Other Match Officials
The Duration of the Match
The Start and Restart of Play
The Ball In and Out of Play
Fouls and Misconduct
Free Kicks
Penalty kick
Throw In
Goal Kick
Corner Kick

Common Sense
Kicks - Penalty Mark
The Technical Area
The Fourth Official
Attitude and Control
League Specific
High School

Common Acronyms
Meet The Ref
Contact AskTheRef
Help Wanted
About AskTheRef
Panel Login

Question Number: 24048

Character, Attitude and Control 9/30/2010

RE: Rec Under 16

Walter A Oriet of Ft Leonard Wood, Missouri USA asks...

While watching my sons game I noticed that the young lady performing the duties of offical was struggling to keep up with play as far as maintaining a good diagonal. Because of this she missed several calls (not counting offsides which I was not counting due to parents helping her with ball over the line.) I have recentley started my 3rd year as an offical in the rec levels and really dont know if it is correct for me to talk to her after the game. I did not want people to assume I was 1. Berating her or 2. Garnering favor for my son. Please advise how you would approach this.

Answer provided by Referee Gene Nagy

Walter, this comes under man management or in this case woman management. Tough one. Perhaps the situation does not lend itself for you to offer advice right there at he field. Even as an assessor if I walk up to a game and the referee dos not know me I feel I may not be welcome to offer 'free' advice.
In this case we have a female referee, unable to keep up to the play, missing calls in a boys game and you think by telling her that she did poorly would achieve something positive? It might convince her to throw in the towel and you do not want to do that. I suggest you talk to the referee assigner and suggest that this referee be assessed by an official assessor or a mentor if you have some in Ft. Leonard Wood. Think retain and improve rather than berate.

Read other questions answered by Referee Gene Nagy

View Referee Gene Nagy profile

Answer provided by Referee Nathan Lacy

Offering unsolicited advice may actually open you up for a possible complaint and potential disciplinary action, believe it or not. When we go to a game as a parent/observer then my advice is to be exactly that and not 'mix' our roles. I was at a game where I knew one of the officials (an AR on that game) and after the match was having what I thought was a 'friendly discussion' about a situation or two that this official was ASKING ME about. The center referee filed a complaint with the local organization and inquiries were made of me as to why I was providing an unsolicited assessment on him (the center ref). Fortunately my explanation proved satisfactory but it certainly created some unneeded stress and could have resulted in more serious consequences. Subsequently, unless ALL officials concerned want to discuss a match I talk about the game and not the officiating. The approach Ref Nagy suggests is a sound one and certainly helps keep you as a referee out of a potentially bad situation. All the best,

Read other questions answered by Referee Nathan Lacy

View Referee Nathan Lacy profile

Answer provided by Referee Joe McHugh

Hi Walter
I would not provide a referee with any advice unless asked to do so. That is the role of a mentor or an assessor to do so.

Read other questions answered by Referee Joe McHugh

View Referee Joe McHugh profile

Ask a Follow Up Question to Q# 24048
Read other Q & A regarding Character, Attitude and Control

Soccer Referee Extras

Did you Ask the Ref? Find your answer here.

Enter Question Number

If you received a response regarding a submitted question enter your question number above to find the answer

Offside Question?

Offside Explained by Chuck Fleischer & Richard Dawson, Former & Current Editor of AskTheRef

This web site and the answers to these questions are not sanctioned by or affiliated with any governing body of soccer. The opinions expressed on this site should not be considered official interpretations of the Laws of the Game and are merely opinions of AskTheRef and our panel members. If you need an official ruling you should contact your state or local representative through your club or league. On AskTheRef your questions are answered by a panel of licensed referees. See Meet The Ref for details about our panel members.