Question Number: 16421

Other 8/25/2007

Daniel of sydney, nsw Australia asks...

The other day i was watching a match and a player intent on finding out how long was left in the match said "How long ref?" the ref replied "6 inches how about you?". The player just laughed and continued playing. So i ask what other witty replies have you heard or said yourself to players or spectators?

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

Hi Daniel witty eh?
Hmmm? Sexual comments can be funny and non threatening in certain cases but as in all things there is a time and place. If the referee was female would you consider it as funny?
Or if the players were female but the referee was male? If they were only 13 and the referee was 30?
The character of a referee allows for much interaction on a positive scale if he can breathe the atmosphere and match the attitude of a game correctly. In a u-18 boys match the players are backing in,
I call out, "If you keep backing in like that you will get pregnant!
A player calls out "That better be a finger poking me?"
Laughs all around!
Imagine if it was a mixed match or a female match? We might get a similar reaction then again letters might be written about inappropriate behavior.

I coached a u-18 ladies and I can assure you people perceived whatever they wanted by any contact ot interaction I had with the girls. To the same extent a referee must also be wary of any sexual references and not underestimate peoples willingness to perceive dirt even in the cleanest of environments!
A good friend and fellow colleague Julian Carosi from the Uk sprinkles just about everything on his site as it relates to refereeing. Here are some tidbits
http://www.corshamref.net/

REF! what kind of a call was that??
"That was my call! Are you feeling OK? You are looking rather yellowish at the moment?" A touch of jaundice perhaps? Yellow Fever? I sure hope no red spots start appearing!

PLAYER - Ref ! for crying out loud he is all over me! Ref he pushed me! Ref he kicked me!
REFEREE - Hey player are you coming over for Christmas dinner?
PLAYER - Huh??
REFEREE - I asked are you coming over for Christmas dinner?
PLAYER - What the?
REFEREE - I just figured you complain so much you must be related to my mother in law and since the relatives all come over for Christmas I should perhaps send you a card?
PLAYER - Card?
REFEREE - Yes do you prefer the yellow variety or the red, very festive the red don't you think? Although many prefer the yellow?

A Referee who is receiving some verbal grief from a player:
Referee calls the player towards him, slowly puts his hand in his card pocket whilst staring at the approaching player. Pulls out his handkerchief and proceeds to blow his nose!!
DOUBLE WARNING ON THIS ONE ? only use if you can definitely get away with it! And remember to put a handkerchief in your pocket! You might need it to wipe away the tears!

Player - "Come on Ref you're not giving us anything!"
Ref - "I'm not Father Christmas, I don't have to give you anything."

From a player who just kicked the ball out and is trying to claim the throw/kick:
"That's rubbish ref!"
"Yeah I know. I would've played it downfield myself"
Players asking how much time is left.

How much time is left Ref.?

"Long enough!".

"Too long!"

"Last 5" "last 10" etc ...

"I wouldn't waste any time with that corner if I were you."

"I'll let you know when it is finished!"

"Ask your manager".

"Ninety minutes minus whatever time we've already played!"

"As long as it takes for my little hand to reach my big hand."

"The end is nigh!"

"I'll tell you when we get back in the changing room".

"Only 10 fouls to go!"

"About 6 inches!"

Ok lads, inside the last 45" !
Cheers

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

On Boxing Day a swarthy attacker says: "Referee what else did you get for Christmas besides your whistle?" "A afternoon with your wife mate."

"Are you going to call that referee?" "Not unless I catch you at it son"

To anyone screaming that's a card: "Thanks, you just saved me the trouble, appreciate it"

Answer provided by Referee Ben Mueller

A spectator says where is the card on that and I reply "its in my pocket".