Question Number: 12706

5/2/2006

RE: Rec, Comp Adult

Dan McGill of San Jose, CA USA asks...

This question is a follow up to question 12667

Mr. Fleischer, Do you actually recommend to young refs that they use your examples in interacting with disrespectful coaches? I could see this might make matters worse. I have no qualms with warning coaches, but especially for young referees, wouldn't it be more effective if they are not cheeky toward coaches?

Thanks.

Love the site and the thought provoking insights.

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

Actually no. All I did is offer some tools for his tool box. They go in and might never be used, fine with me.

The thing is Dan, coaches need to sit down and shut up more. Warning doesn't work when one thinks about a warning from you and next match the coach gets is a youth referee who doesn't have the experience we do. Then what happens? The youth referee quits. We loose another possible FIFA referee.

Is that something we need or want. Yeah, I guess I meant it. Coaches will continue behaving like little league coaches and parents until the penalty for doing so, every time, is an early bath.

Regards,

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

I agree with Chuck. Yes, young referees absolutely should stand up to bully coaches. We had a 13 year old referee dismiss a 35 year old coach and I wanted to give the kid a medal. As long as WE tolerate bad behavior, it will continue to get worse

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

Hi Dan,
Each referee is a mixture of character. Backbones are something that are difficult to instill. Confrontation is SCARY because of the unknown reactions that COULD happen. Many Adults believe youth can be bullied! Within the natural order of things adults EXPECT youth to respect authority and adult coaches will play on that to intimidate a youth referee who can not muster an appropriate defence simply because he has not the support ,confidence or TOOLS to use to correct the imbalance. Cheeky to the point of baiting an adult is not likely to sit well even if the comment is sharp and quick to the bone. It is not the anger we are trying to provoke it is the ridiculous nature of the situation where we are FORCED to act in a manner we rather would not but are given no choice.
As Chuck points outs the tools we use to manage our matches are handme down advice that work well for some and not for others. WHAT should occur is when an adult or coach starts in ACTING like a jerk is the OTHER adults around take care of it before the young referee is forced too! Cheers