Question Number: 13802

Character, Attitude and Control 9/16/2006

RE: Compeditive Under 14

Kirk of Tumwater, Wa USA asks...

Is there a rule about the refs going to the sidelines and having a meeting with a team and parents? We were playing a game and were up 1-0 at half. At half the opposing team called the 3 refs over where the coaches and parents talked for 15 minutes. The center then walked over to me and said the coaches and parents are very upset with our sidelines and warned me to get it under control or " I would be sitting in my car." Also said we need to coach our girls to play right. This was the first we heard anything about it. The second half was in my opinion very one sided. We lost 3-1 on a PK a free kick and a late goal.

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

The referee may talk with anyone he wants to at the half. That said, I'm surprised a referee would lecture you based on what the opposing coach and parents thought. If the referee had a problem with you or your player's behaviour he should have addressed you. Of course you think the second half was biased. Why wouldn't you? This referee by his actions has put his integrity in question and even if all his second half calls are correct, were I in your shoes I'd feel as you do. Very bad form on this referees part.

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

Hi Kirk,
while I am not adverse to talking with others at the half I generally like to have my ARs with me on our own for a brief review of the half. They would relay ongoing difficulties if I was not yet up to speed! I also tend to seperate the fans and players to opposing sides of the field, teams at one side of the half by the technical areas and those watching on the opposing side. Eliminates many difficulties and isolates trouble as being soley fan based or coaching technical area based!

Integrity is a word that I use a lot and one that I impress as important as a character trait for a good referee. Even those who have it can make poor choices and a one sided lecture is difficult to be complacent about if you are truly surprised at its content.
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Perception is what it is. Truth does not always enter into it but opinions will be formed on the belief something is not right if that is how one feels. Also I address only the possibility of training effort and knowledge I can not speak to the resolve or character of those who have none for then nothing I say means much.

I do find it curious by your description of events the referee was unconcerned until after the 15 minutes. Such a comment and threat to be blunt generally stems from something ongoing noticed and most unpleasent. To think only a bent ear by the opposing coach and fans created this, they must be pretty persausive.
cheers

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

No rule, just common sense, we usually don't try putting ourselves in a situation that can be misinterpreted. This crew did and you drew a conclusion that made them look bad.

Regards,

Answer provided by Referee Ben Mueller

He can talk to whom ever he wants. He has total control. Sounds to me like this referee should have been on these parents during game and not waiting for advice from the other team.