Question Number: 13919

Character, Attitude and Control 9/26/2006

RE: Amateur Adult

George of Charlotte Area, North Carolina USA asks...

This question is a follow up to question 13832

I referee anywhere from Adult Amateur games to U12 Boys and Girls games, and I'm not sure how much I should take from Coaches and/or parents. I suppose the problem is that the referees I'm around (for the most part) endure alot of dissenting and unruly behavior from coaches. It almost seems like the Coaches spend as much time yelling at the referees as they spend giving tactical instructions to their team.

My question, since I really don't understand how my fellow referees could take this much abuse, is what is 'ok'? If I were to believe what I've encountered, then anything short of running onto the field with a bat is alright.

I do sound like I'm exaggerating, but let me give some examples:

U13 Boys game (Challenge, Tournament) Coach yells at the Center Referee for most of the match, stuff like 'Oh come on Ref', or 'call it both ways', or 'Come on, Yellow Card', or 'Are you blind?'. Once or twice is alright (at least, I'm not as affected by it) but when it approaches half time, and the coach is still doing this, I wonder if it's time to talk to the coach?

I suppose where I'm coming from is that I don't want to seem like I can't handle what the Coach is saying, but at the same time I am of the belief that the coach should be coaching his team, not yelling at the referee.

Some Guidance would really help here, guys.

What should be considered as a 'normal' part of the game, and at what point are the coaches taking it too far?

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

If your fellow referees are putting up with this nonsense they are making your job more difficult. How much is ok? NONE! You don'
t even have to give a warning. Soccer is rapidly turning into Little League baseball and it's due to referees with a lack of guts to confront and, if needed, expel coaches who behave in an irresponsible or unprofessional manner. Stick to your guns. If you want to tolerate a few comments, that's up to you but coaches acting like you describe are a disgrace and you should not tolerate it.

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

Hi George,
you need to change the attitude of the "referees I'm around (for the most part) endure" to more like us. LOL!
What you ask is a fundemental attitude within our society I like to call confrontational avoidance. The larger the crowd of spectators the less likely you as an individual can face confrontational issues from the touchlines as it is a heavy burden to tell ALL who are in attendance that this match will not continue if THAT (whatever the THAT is ) continues.

I referee a match with 5000 screaming fans or more my selective hearing antenae goes up strictly for self preservation and the fact if I am so distracted I cannot do justice to the players playing.

Your description sounds like the COACH is acting unreasonably. By law it specifically states they are to act reasonably and give tactical advise from the technical area. They are in violation of a prime directive so to speak and the surrouding parents will emulate the frustration of the coach which in turn transfers to the players as the adults they love give them first hand experiance of how an official is to be treated.

No referee can officiate without a backbone but no match that is enjoyable is designed to be watched in silence. Passion, emotion and the heat of a moment of disappointment or overbearing triumph will create tension and place pressure on the conditions of a match. That is part of competative reality however if the material and/or actions are garbage filth and chaos inducing you MUST act for the good of the game and the welfare of the players!

The USSF has a three word example, persistant, public and personal evaluation of the comments of dissent. You appear to understand that some rumblings is part of the undercurrent of a match . In fact some low level dissents can focus attention on a missing segment of detail that could be crucial to CAP before it esculates into a major unpleasent event!

The character of a referee is one of the individual's comfort zones!The willingness to engage in brief explanations, the ability to LOOK calm and unflusterd even if the guts are churning in anxiety, the satisfaction of knowing you work hard, train and have a good grasp of the laws and their implementation you seek positioning best suited to play and EVERYONE can SEE the effort and respect the individual even if they disagree with the call.

I have consistantly written in response to inquiries such as yours Coaches coach, players play, parents praise and referees referee how fun this game could be! As a referee you develope a feel for the match, you sense if the players are beginning to be affected by the outside abuse or material throw in from the touchlines If you are so distracted then your focus on the match is impaired and things begin to unravel.

My advice to you is a referee with integrity sees what he sees. 50% of those watching will be in disagreement on nearly every decision you make or choose not to make
:Yes or NO
: Play stop, Play continue
:Foul, Fair.
Coaches in my opinion should be helping a referee maintain order on the touchlines. I will appeal to them for assistance if I think it is required. I too coach and not unaware the needs of coaching are not the same as the needs of refereeing still either those who comment in an abusive or haranguing tone figure out they must agree to diagree and move on or the game does not proceed until THAT is removed or at least quieted to an acceptable tone!!
Whether you choose to warn a coach that enough is enough and that a walk to the parking lot for him is in his future or straight up sit his loud abusive butt imediately in the front seat is your match, your decision, your reputation.
Cheers

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

Your starting point for tolerance is none. Life is just so much better when you aren't getting yelled at. You can instantly intervene on the first occurrence by stopping attacking play from that "coaches" side. Slowly and deliberately walking over to a point about 10 feet from him and [because you had time to compose yourself in the slow walk over] quietly say that he is to limit his remarks to tactical instructions for his players. In the event he chooses to act irresponsibly [gotta say that] he faces expulsion [that too]. Next time he is expelled for acting irresponsibly, one of your powers and duties afforded you in the Laws of the game.

Bye, bye; catch ya later. Enjoyed having you here. By the way, captain [singular here], the match ain't gonna restart until he is outta here. [language they can understand]

Have fun writing reports. Make sure you tell him further words to you is not afforded him under the Law and that is not acting responsibly. Of course there are some coaches that just have to leave without warnings.

Regards,

Answer provided by Referee Ben Mueller

I believe in Warn, Dismess, Suspend, and Terminate. Deal with parents through coaches.