Question Number: 17422

Character, Attitude and Control 10/21/2007

RE: Youth - Adult Adult

Bradd Waggoner of Allen, Tx USA asks...

Not really a question, just a thought.
I have been a referee for 6 years now and find MOST of the Parents and MOST of the Coaches (Rec and select) understand that they have NO IDEA what or how to referee a game. Most of these honestly thank the referee team that works a game.
Notice that I said MOST!
There are a few bad apples out there.

My question to the parent or coach who spends a match critical of the Referees call, "What do you hope to accomplish?" Most of the time, it seems to be the mindset of "If I yell at you enough, you will call what I want just to get me to shut up." And if this is done to a young referee, I can see perhaps, that being accomplished. I ALSO see this younger referees not staying in the referee business. Now, we have to find another young referee and train him of her. The new one will then have to make mistakes and learn from them as we have.
Great job Parent or Coach!! Instead of getting better referee's now we have more new referees. Is this better???? I think not!
Of course, if this is done to a more experienced referee, one that KNOW'S what "handball" and "offsides" is like, all you have done is convinced the referee to give you an earlier look at the parking lot and given you reason to visit the local pub next week instead of coaching or spectating. Not to mention, unveiling yourself to football minded, knowledgeable folk as having no idea what is in the ROFT. ("handball" and "offsides" indeed!)

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer

Not really an answer, just a thought...

Your thoughts are on the money as far as I can tell Bradd. Wouldn't it be nice if clubs started off with all the referees from last season? Imagine not having to qualify new ones because so many from last year just quit. Of course fines could be levied to help defray instructor's fees, registration fees and classroom rentals. If this just happened to fall at the feet of the select few who thought yelling was their right at a match I'll bet we would really hear screaming and gnashing of teeth. What would clubs be like if all referees therein expelled every coach who acted irresponsibly? What if clubs banned the little league father or mother? Would there be any junior Football or would it return to the Beautiful Game?

Regards,

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

I referee. I coach. I play. I watch. I feel the same as you do! Useless noise, venting, posturing, intimidation and outright ignorant behavior. Damn these people are posing as politicians in disguise! We all likely irritate someone and do something that another perceives as controversial.

Are we higher than mighty, overly pompous to judge an individual who we see as wrong, irresponsible, aggressive, mean-spirited as unpleasant? Perhaps, as the old rock logic suggests, let he without sin cast the first one could apply.

The character of those who watch, play, coach and officiate does not come with a turn on turnoff switch. Generally what is within that makeup is exposed in some manner eventually. Attitudes and behavior can be reigned in due to consequences and perceptions but pressure, disagreements, the need to have something or get something, passion and controlling emotions our overall makeup of life skills reflect our understanding of the gift we are given in life.

Those matches at the top end are different then those matches we see in front of us at our local pitches even though the game is football/soccer..
You can often see a match where the universality of a fun game is played under considerable tension at the elite level.
At the grassroots where expectations may not be quite as large the dreams may even be bigger. It is easy to wipe the fun and erase the imagination if the conduct of those succubuses?s of black emotive holes, draining the fun and the passion continues unabated. Unable to agree to disagree, those who must explode cannot let the opportunity pass to point the finger of blame or find fault in the most beautiful of games.
I suggest to all watch the little ones play at ages 4, 5 or 6 and see the game as it is was intended to enjoyed by all those playing and those watching sharing the laughter and the joy. You may have noticed this fades as we progress in age and skill. Ever wonder why?
Cheers