Question Number: 18460

Character, Attitude and Control 3/3/2008

RE: Select Under 13

Steve of Vero Beach, FL USA asks...

This question is a follow up to question 18442

I was also forced to Referee my son's game when the CR did not show and the ARs were not ready for the CR responsibility. The game went fine until my son tackled a player from the side, cleats up, caught the ball first but also got the legs.

No injury to either player. This was also in the PA, so opposing team gets a PK (no DOGSO involved).

PK was successful game ends in a tie. Long ride home with my fuming son. I will not do another CR in a game that he plays.

Answer provided by Referee Debbie Hoelscher

I can appreciate your position. However, let your son fume. It was HIM not you, that caused this. The sooner he realizes that HE is responsible for his mistakes, and not pawn it off onto you or others, especially by pouting, the better off he will be. Our job as parents is NOT to entertain our children and be at their beckoning and call. Our job is to raise our children to be productive and responsible members of society. Taking responsibility for decisions and actions is part of that building process.

Answer provided by Referee Ben Mueller

If your son got the ball first, but then tripped his opponent after the play...then you made the correct call. On the other hand if the opponent simply ran into your sons outstretched leg, then it may not have been a good call. Either way...you were in the position to make the call and you made it.

Answer provided by Referee Michelle Maloney

Perhaps your son would be happier riding the bench if ever you are necessitated to take the referee position in a game with his team again (not recommended - see what happens? We're damned if we do and damned if we don't). His pique is understandable but unsupportable. You were there and from your recitation of the facts connected with play, it sounds like your call was spot on.

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

You might also want to explain to your son that you could have easily sent him off for serious foul play if his cleats were up even if he got the ball first. But... what a no win situation for the both of you. Personally, I'd NEVER center a game my child was in.

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

I had little issue with refereeing community soccer with my children in or on the teams playing simply because it was understood this is for fun and recreation . When the competition level increases to provincial or national level percieved biasis is more likely an issue and as such less likely. I enjoyed watching my kids play and was reluctant to referee their matches as it focused my attention away from them. Being in demand as a referee because of the position and respect I had generated within the league as well as the usual shortage of those willing was part of the price I paid for trying to be involved in a positive way. My kids were not embarassed but proud of their DAD, I knew the kind of people they were and they knew what I was so no sulking or bitterness was EVER a problem. Love and trust beat perception by others EVERY TIME!
Cheers
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The following questions were asked as a follow up to the above question...

See Question: 18475

See Question: 18479