Question Number: 20336

Character, Attitude and Control 10/22/2008

RE: Competitive High School

A Ref of Anywhere, NM United States asks...

What's the panel's opinion when it's post game, hard fought match, you have the lineup and handshake and the referees are standing there to make sure nobody clocks an opponent. Then you have somebody walk by you (let's just say number 4 of the white team) who deliberately pulls his or her hand away to show his or her dissatisfaction with your performance?

What is the proper way to handle this? I've seen much more senior referees than I loudly call back the 'offender' and tell him or her to 'show a little class' or something of that nature, and I've heard stories of kids being cautioned after the match over this, but I'd like to know this panel's take.

Thanks for your time and great web site.

Answer provided by Referee Gary Voshol

There is no requirement that a player has to shake hands or show any class after the game. Many competitions tell the referee to clear out as soon as possible after the final whistle, to avoid any such confrontations.

Answer provided by Referee Michelle Maloney

I second Ref Voshol's opinion. Standing there invites dissent and displeasure. Go away and get some peace. Players who misbehave after a game are the coaches' responsibility, not yours.

Don't go looking for trouble - enough finds us as it is.

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

My opinion is to do nothing. If the player doesn't say anything, why open a can of worms. Yes, he has shown dissent by an action which is a cautionable offense but I'd simply shrug it off

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

Personally I do not like league policy that try to enforce a, must shake hands policy, to legislate good sportsmanship while noble sentiment fail to tackle the real issues. Integrity, self respect, honor and class are inherent within those who get the fact soccer is a game meant to be enjoyed not destroyed by bitterness and recrimination of it is your fault we lost.

Disappointment and being upset at a decision is understandable while remaining upset and angry is not, as it serves no useful purpose. Emotional pandering and the need for a result taint the perception of the participants if they fail to grasp the essentials of fair play. Fair play has more to do with understanding that victory at any and all costs is too high a price to pay unless we are fighting for freedom not a notch in the win column.

Cheeky monkeys rarely deserve the attention they crave. To display ruffled feathers, posturing and pawing the ground snorting like an angry bull because one is cheesed with the officiating. An official as a neutral party is not immune from errors in judgment or even as knowledgeable as we might wish. Attitude and character as well as experience all form the dynamics of an official and as we often point out is a match condition at times to be endured as much as praised

The right to feel good and allow others that privilege is to honor others for their effort as well as your own.

While I will watch the two teams shake from a distance the players who do wish to congratulate the officials must come a ways to-do so. To be dealt the psyched, pull away the hand then run the hand as a hair comb over from an emotive stunted sore loser would hardly faze me! Although disrespectful and certainly could be cautioned and shown the yellow card then recorded in the match report for such foolishness. I might say, "Hey Coach you should teach this lad some manners!' is effective because I too coach and I can assure you no player of mine does this and not think twice about the bench time he gets after.
Cheers