Question Number: 21833

Law 5 - The Referee 8/25/2009

RE: Division 1 U14 boys Under 15

Rob Plaza of Houston, TX USA asks...

This question is a follow up to question 21820

The issue here was done immediately in front of parents along the sideline. As parents are we allowed to say things? How far can we go before a ref gets mad at us.

Could we quickly yell: 'FIFA says defenders must be 2 yards from the player and may not wave their hands. He did it intentionally and is now proud of it. He should get a yellow card.'

I'm thinking we could get away with that, but it may not be appropriate if we started that quote with 'Hey Ref'.

Could the player who is throwing in the ball stop and yell out to the Ref complaining? In this particular case, the momentum had already been totally lost. (So stopping to complain may not be so bad to the team's momentum.)

Answer provided by Referee Gary Voshol

Parents shouldn't be trying to influence the referee. First, it only irritates the ref. Second, it could cause the players to start carping, resulting in cautions for dissent.

Just like at a free kick where the opponent doesn't retreat 10 yards, the player taking the throw could appeal to the ref. 'Hey Ref, distance please!' That doesn't give him back his ability to start quickly, but it does get the problem opponent out of his face.

Answer provided by Referee Dennis Wickham

Great question.

There is a top club in Southern California that requires parents to sign a contract that parents during games shall not coach, shall not say anything to the officials, and shall only indicate support for all of the players (even the ones who make mistakes on the field). The club enforces the contract; and selects coaches who share the same philosophy.

The referees make the same number of mistakes in their games as they do for other teams, but these parents don't shout, question, or criticize. The difference is almost eerie. The players do extremely well (a large number of its players end up on college teams) and are strong competitors. The players, of course, take their cues from parents and coaches, and these players are very disciplined on the field. That discipline makes them a stronger team. I always suspect that the contract began for the benefit of the coaches, but stayed because the discipline benefits the players.

One of the great things about being a referee is that we get to run with the players, away from the touchlines. It is very common to hear players muttering 'Shut up, Dad.' My experience is that even when the parents are right, the players don't want them to say or do anything in their game, other than cheer. It's their game. They want to have fun. It's very difficult for parents to give up control, and we spend so much focus on making sure our kids are treated fairly and safely, that our first thought is to do something when we think they are not. I've learned, however, that kids can and want to handle the adversity of sport.

If silence (though golden) is not possible, the best advice I can give to parents is:

(a) if the referee is a teenager, please say nothing other than 'great job.' The only chance your kids will have for good, decent, fit, young referees is to let the teenage referees develop. It takes three years. Most quit after the first year because of the criticism from the touchlines. They want to do a good job, know they make mistakes, but perceive anything said by adults as criticism (much harsher than an adult referee would). If that teenager doing the U10 three years ago had stayed with officiating, they would be a terrific referee for your child's U15 match today.

(b) Referees are taught that irresponsible behavior at the touchlines is Public, Persistent, or Personal. If someone is shouting anything that can be heard from more than 10 yards away, it is public. If one or a group are constantly chirping, it is persistent. Any statement that begins with 'You' is Personal. One point of emphasis for referees is that they are letting far too much happen on the touchlines, and it is affecting adversely dissent from the players. More referees will be stopping matches and dealing with spectators and coaches who are behaving irresponsibly.

Players talk to referees all the time. Good referees want to know how whether the players want the game called tightly, or be given the opportunity to play through minor infringements. The player who stops taking a throw-in, or asks for two yards, is indicating they don't want to play through the opponent's infringement, and the referee should respond with a warning to the opponent and, if repeated, a caution.

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

A few years back, GYSA decided to have a Silent Saturday. Parents and coaches were not allowed to say ANYTHING. It was quite eerie at first but then an amzing thing happened: the players started to play exactly as they were supposed to. Without the constant interruptions by both coaches and parents, the players were free to play as they had been taught. Parents usually do nothing more than confuse the players. Oftentimes I will hear a parent instruct their child to do something exactly opposite from what the coach had just told him. During Silent Saturday, the players talked to me and the games were a lot of fun.

As far as your question is concerned, referees have learned that the louder the parent is, the less he or she knows. I can pretty well ignore parents unless they are disrupting the game, yelling at my AR, or using profanity. Parents should NEVER yell at a teenage referee. Any parent that yells at a young referee comes across as nothing more than a bully and should be ashamed of themselves. We lose young referees every year and the number one reason is coach/parent abuse. If you have something you want to say to any referee, do so at halftime or after the game and do so in a respectful and polite manner.

Your question references a throw-in. The player taking the throw is free to say to the referee to move the opponent back 2 yards and make him stop waving his hands. parents yelling this at the referee will probably do nothing other than irritate the referee. Referees make mistakes but nowhere near the number of mistakes players make. For some reason people think it's ok to point out referee mistakes. Can you imagine the uproar if a referee started telling a coach he was an idiot for playing an offside trap that wasn't working or telling a player he made a poor shot?

Bottom line is spectators should be respectful to the referees as the referees are being respectful to the players