Question Number: 24048

Character, Attitude and Control 9/30/2010

RE: Rec Under 16

Walter A Oriet of Ft Leonard Wood, Missouri USA asks...

While watching my sons game I noticed that the young lady performing the duties of offical was struggling to keep up with play as far as maintaining a good diagonal. Because of this she missed several calls (not counting offsides which I was not counting due to parents helping her with ball over the line.) I have recentley started my 3rd year as an offical in the rec levels and really dont know if it is correct for me to talk to her after the game. I did not want people to assume I was 1. Berating her or 2. Garnering favor for my son. Please advise how you would approach this.

Answer provided by Referee Gene Nagy

Walter, this comes under man management or in this case woman management. Tough one. Perhaps the situation does not lend itself for you to offer advice right there at he field. Even as an assessor if I walk up to a game and the referee dos not know me I feel I may not be welcome to offer 'free' advice.
In this case we have a female referee, unable to keep up to the play, missing calls in a boys game and you think by telling her that she did poorly would achieve something positive? It might convince her to throw in the towel and you do not want to do that. I suggest you talk to the referee assigner and suggest that this referee be assessed by an official assessor or a mentor if you have some in Ft. Leonard Wood. Think retain and improve rather than berate.

Answer provided by Referee Nathan Lacy

Offering unsolicited advice may actually open you up for a possible complaint and potential disciplinary action, believe it or not. When we go to a game as a parent/observer then my advice is to be exactly that and not 'mix' our roles. I was at a game where I knew one of the officials (an AR on that game) and after the match was having what I thought was a 'friendly discussion' about a situation or two that this official was ASKING ME about. The center referee filed a complaint with the local organization and inquiries were made of me as to why I was providing an unsolicited assessment on him (the center ref). Fortunately my explanation proved satisfactory but it certainly created some unneeded stress and could have resulted in more serious consequences. Subsequently, unless ALL officials concerned want to discuss a match I talk about the game and not the officiating. The approach Ref Nagy suggests is a sound one and certainly helps keep you as a referee out of a potentially bad situation. All the best,

Answer provided by Referee Joe McHugh

Hi Walter
I would not provide a referee with any advice unless asked to do so. That is the role of a mentor or an assessor to do so.