Question Number: 25181

Law 5 - The Referee 7/7/2011

RE: Rec thru senior ments Other

Brian Lewis of Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada asks...

This question is a follow up to question 25163

Just a follow up on the confromtation with parents.

Unfortunately we do not ususally work in teams but alone and have volunteers to flag the lines, so rarely is there back up. All youth teams are required to list an RL (referee liaison) to help deal with unruly spectators, so that is sometimes of help, but they are not permitted to physically intervene in a conflict situation. So possibly that is something for your area association to consider.

I agree with the last comment, and have found myself doing that in my mind on more occasions than I care to remember. In reality, I simply walk away and note it on the gamesheet. I will ask 'who is your son/daughter etc' and that gives me all the information I need. (I can usually reference the player's name from the gamesheet) and file a report with the league. If they follow, I politely ask them to back off and continue daling with my paperwork and also I inform them that I am filing a report with the league on their behavior. Ususally they have a little more to say and then they leave. On occasion if we are on the players side of the field and they continue, I will call the appropriate coach over to deal with him as there are league santioned consequences for abuse of an official and the teams are liable depending on what goes in the official's report.

Sorry for being so wordy, but just a couple of suggestions from 10+ years in youth soccer

Answer provided by Referee Dennis Wickham

Thanks for your follow up. The most valuable insight (IMO) you make is that you remain polite and calm. I think this is the best way to deal with people who are being neither polite, nor calm.

Ours is an emotional game. Parents focus on protecting their children - - both from physical harm and from 'injustice.' Particularly, below U12, they haven't experience thousands of decisions that don't go their way. Unfortunately, they also can cause new referees to quit. It does get better as the kids get older (though teenagers present different challenges).

Many referees mistake coaches for the 'enemy.' Most are invaluable resources in managing players and parents so that they behave responsibly. Referees should not be afraid to talk with coaches (quietly and privately) before things escalate. 'I need a favor. Can you please help me with . . . . .' can be a far more effective first step than threats or warnings.

Answer provided by Referee Joe McHugh

Hi Brian
Sound advice. Each situation is different and the ref has to think on his/her feet in these situations. Walking away is always best while saying as little as possible