Question Number: 26599

Character, Attitude and Control 8/5/2012

RE: Competitive Adult

Harris Rasheed of Toronto, Ontario Canada asks...

When two players have a problem with each other in the game and I want to bring the temperature and animosity between the two of them down, I typically call them both over to have a friendly chat so that I can calm them down. This airs out the dirty laundry and prevents future problems from happening.

Sometimes when I have called them both, I am at a loss for words at what I should tell them or ask them to do to calm down.

What do you recommend or do in these cases? What approach would you take?

Answer provided by Referee Joe McHugh

Hi Harris
Refereeing is an exercise in human relations. I believe you have adopted the correct approach by speaking to both players. My advice is to bring your own personality to the sitautions. Some refs that I know will berate both players while others just speak in normal tones. What is said is a matter for the referee and that also comes from experience as to what has worked in the past.
Whatever is used the players should know that the behaviour is unacceptable, that special attention is being paid to their further behaviour and if they persist that action may be taken.
For me I remind players why they are there which is to play a game, that I will not tolerate misbehaviour, that I don't want them to come to my attention again and should they do so they know what action will be taken. Finally I tell them that it is now up to them. I have not limited my option by saying what action I will take. Generally though a repeat would be a caution for both.

The following questions were asked as a follow up to the above question...

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