Question Number: 26932

League Specific 10/24/2012

RE: Rec and Competive High School

Luis Ticona of Woodside, NY USA asks...

I am a center referee for game (14 years old level). I try to follow the AYSO(I am AYSO certified Ref) rules in this other informal local FREE Youth Soccer league in the Queens NYC area.
Last weekend there was a player's parent who came very close to my face to scream and yell at me about according to him, many bad calls I made during that game. This was not the first time he screams at me but never this close. This last time he even tried to push me back not with his hand but at least with two fingers on my chest. The director of this program assures me that this person is known for this bad behavior but he says that he is harmless person and that Security in this area has been told of this situation.

This coming Friday I am not sure if I want to referee a game if this man and his 13 year old player will be in the field. I will not feel safe if I for any circumstance I have to come out with a yellow card for this player.

Please let me know if you know of a similar situation and what was done about it.

waiting for your suggestion(s)
Thank you;

LT.

Answer provided by Referee Gary Voshol

If you have a league that is affiliated with USSF (either through USYS and the state youth association or through AYSO) you have access to redress for grievances. You can report the league to your state referee association if the league itself does not take care of the problem.

But when you work in an unaffiliated league, you are at their mercy if there are problems. Some league administrators will back up the referees, others will not. The only thing you can do is stop taking games in that league.

If you are assaulted at a game, you should abandon it and leave. The police can also be called.

Answer provided by Referee Jason Wright

Hi Luis,

It's always disappointing to hear about things like this, and it's extremely disappointing to hear that the organisers aren't taking this seriously. Screaming in your face is enough to have that parent removed from the vicinity of the field, in my opinion - and if he's manhandling you (which he has?), then that's more than enough for abandonment. During a match, removing a spectator should be organised through the team coach/manager (and following from that, the ground officials/security) - and if they don't comply, then your only choice is to abandon.

If you're not receiving sufficient support from the competition and you're concerned for your own safety, then unfortunately you may have to consider whether it's worth turning up. That's a decision I've made in indoor soccer a few times, unfortunately.

As Ref Voshol stated, you can certainly contact the police in any case when you've been assaulted/manhandled.

Ref Voshol gave some good advice regarding USSF affiliation, and even if it's unaffiliated there should be somebody you can raise your concerns with, perhaps emphasising the point that you have been assaulted and that you feel having this person present at a match places any referee at risk. I find it hard to believe that anybody can describe somebody acting like this as 'harmless'...

Answer provided by Referee Dennis Wickham

Someone who touches you should be shown the red card and be sent off.
Someone who yells at you should be shown the yellow card before they can get that close. Step backwards or step off the field.

Finally, if you don't feel safe, don't accept matches in that league. They know of the problem and have failed to act. Your safety is more important than a game fee.

My experience is that when people are yelling, they usually are yelling at the referee shirt, not the person. I remind myself to stay very, very calm. And to be very, very polite. The louder they yell, the softer I speak. If you have confidence, are calm and respectful (even when they are not), you usually will remain in control.

As you gain more experience, you may find that you deal with problems much earlier than after they reached the screaming phase. Early in the match you have an opportunity to talk to the player, to check on them when they have been fouled, to give them a sharp grimace or hard stare when they begin to get out of control. The problem often is that the referee has waited too long and tolerated too much before acting. A small amount of effort in the first half can often avoid large problems in the second half.

Finally, a few people are jerks. They don't change. Warnings are ignored. Sendoffs are required. This is particularly true in leagues where too much has been tolerated for a long time. They attract the ones that have been banned by other leagues.

Answer provided by Referee Joe McHugh

Hi Luis
Only you can decide about your personal safety. Certainly I would err on the side of caution as the description here suggests that the individual is certainly not harmless. You don't mention as to how the previous situation developed but I would certainly learn from this to ensure it is not repeated
As the game is unaffiliated you have the choice of not doing the games. If you decide to do the games and the situation gets 'aggressive' then I have found that the best way to deal with these confrontational situation where there is concern for personal safety is to abandon the game and move to a safe area immediately. That can be into the referees' changing area or an area that the referee is comfortable with perhaps beside stewards / security.
If the game is over or nearing an end then I would make an assessment of the 'mood' of the situation. If it is hostile then it can be a good idea to finish the game far away from the likely source of any trouble and if possible close to a 'safe' area. Unfortunately at lower levels there is no security provision or barriers to 'protect' the officials so it is best to make an assessment as to what is the 'safest' place to be or route to leave.