Question Number: 32520

Mechanics 6/18/2018

RE: Rec and select High School

mary ramirez-de-arellano of damascus, maryland USA asks...

As an AR what do I do when the coach next to me is yammering on and on that offside calls should be made when he is either in no position to make the judgement and/or the player in an offside position has not yet even gotten involved in play? This same coach began berating me when I didn't call offside on a player who scored against his team, I didn't call offside because I didn't see offside, but this coach was so insistent and unrelenting I began to doubt my senses. He punctuated the match by telling me I and the center shouldnt referee 'Finals'. 'terrible referees!' This game was a final and his team lost 0-4. I am thinking in the future I should call the center over and have him address the dissenting chatterbox.

Answer provided by Referee Joe McHugh

Hi Mary
Two schools of thought here.
There is the opinion that the assistant, as you say, calls the referee over to deal with the coach and ask him to address the dissenting chatterbox. It is the first step of the Ask, Tell and Dismiss process.
https://www.ussoccer.com/stories/2014/05/08/13/13/ask-tell-dismiss
The assistant can also ask the coach directly to desist by the threat that if the coach persists that the AR will be left with no option but to bring the referee across to TELL the coach to desist otherwise it will be a dismissal.
The second approach is that the chuntering coach is stonewalled to the point that he gets zero reaction from the assistant. I have developed over the years the ability to blank team officials with a total focus on the game. I show little reaction and I leave it to the referee to act unless it becomes offensive, insulting and abusive in which case it is a request for an immediate removal.
Once the coach's behaviour spills out on to the field and has an affect on the game I expect the referee will probably see and hear it anyway. I will look for the reaction of the referee to see how he is dealing with it.
In most of these instances the coach is looking for a reaction and sometimes the best reaction is none as it plainly shows that his tirade is not having the desired affect. Many times the thick skinned no response approach can be best. The alternative is usually a removal and at underage that has issues

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

HI Mary,
when I do the middle in my pregame talk to the teams the VERY First thing after hello is MY ARs are 100% off limits to ANY verbal or physical intimidation. You have an issue you bring it to ME at a proper time & place & respectfully. I try to ensure the touchlines are clear and my ARS are not reduced to tears by obnoxious buttwads

Unless the chatter is within the abusive range or attempting to inflame tensions I find ignoring it to be easiest! The stonewall my colleague Ref McHugh advocates! As AR or 4th I have had an occasional brief word with spectators or coaches or players that enough is enough and will bring the CR over ONLY if necessary. IN the pregame it is good to ask your CR about what they prefer in cases where you are having troubles?

My issue in giving advice is I have a very chatty character and find it easy to engage and diffuse most situations because I consider most youth soccer a teaching moment in life! So the do not do as I do is probably better advice then to emulate what I do. If you are an engager you MUST be careful of losing focus on your primary duties as AR. Also if you are well versed in the LOTG and feel relaxed enough to explain things to reasonable people you begin to see those unreasonable ones as hot air and a waste of space unwilling to consider that they are wrong the only measure you have is to ensure you are correct in your actions ! Lead by example. Understand LAW 11 to the nth degree and just shake your head at the monkey chatter of those who want or need a result in their favour not a decision by a fair neutral official. Yet IF THEY persistent and create strife it is all our duty to record and report to keep the game fun and sane from those who forget how to agree to disagree !

I have done some goofy stuff to let obnoxious coaches know how silly they are including providing one with a megaphone because I was not sure everyone in the world could not hear him. Handed one a giant plastic whistle! . A set of double thick glasses or a set of binoculars as I was aghast he could not see well enough! Or in the case of one young lady her coach screaming at her so much (it was her mom) I gave her a yellow card and told her to go over to her mom and show her the card explaining if she was did not tone down her behavior she would be expelled!

During a summer tournament, we had a very bellicose loud coach faithfully advocated a PK for just about every decision where his players were challenged in the PA screaming for calls for a PK when he was at the far end of the field . It was commented on by more than a few so I decided to have one of those very long wind up tape reels and an eye chart handy. During a prolonged screeching spell I stopped the match went and retrieved said equipment and ran the tape from the coach back to the PA area, a distance of 77 yards. I held the eye chart aloft and asked him to read it . I went back and handed him the eye chart which said
P.L.E.A.S.E.
Stop
Screaming!

I do not recommend these as smart responses but they were satisfying!

Cheers