Question Number: 10615

Character, Attitude and Control 12/19/2005

RE: Select/ Rec Under 12

Mark Mayes of Fair Oaks, CA USA asks...

After my second year of serving as an AR and Referee in mostly younger matches, I have become increasing intollerent of dissent from parents and coaches because young and promising referees in our club are being chased away. ..Unless it was pointed or rude I have let it slide until it built up a bit. Is seems to me parents' AND coaches' critical comments have gotten more aggressive. Would a referee be out of line in stating their expectations to the coaches before the match begins in a polite and friendly manner Or is more appropriate to wait until you start to hear the chatter, i.e. loud, incorrect questioning of properly made calls by parents and coaches. Thank you for your insight.

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino 12/19/2005

I, and USSF, think it a bad idea to tell parents/coaches/players what you will and will not tolerate. It's much better TO nip bad behavior IN the bud WHEN it takes place. I'm happy you are becoming less rather than more tolerant with bad behavior. All too many of our fellow referees let things get way out of hand. If we'd ALL refuse TO put up WITH bullies it would be better FOR the game AND FOR the kids. Players AND parents often mimic coaches who should know better. Stick TO your guns.

Answer provided by Referee Chuck Fleischer 12/19/2005

Here is what should be done at the first occurrence of each and without warning as per CYSA By-law 3:08:03:..Coaching from the sidelines, giving direction to one?s own team on points of strategy and position, is permitted provided: ..A. No mechanical devices are used. ..B. The tone of voice is informative and not a harangue. ..C. No coach, substitute, player, or spectator is to be anywhere but at his/her bench area during the game. A team?s bench area.shall be that area one (1) yard from the touchline and extending to ten (10) yards, one way, from the half-line only. ..D. No coach, substitute, player or spectator is to make derogatory remarks or gestures to the referees, other players, substitutes, or spectators. ..E. No coach, substitute, or player is to use profanity. ..F. No coach, substitute, player, or spectator is to incite, in any manner, disruptive behavior of any kind. ..The penalty for the above shall be ejection from the game and disciplinary action will be taken by the Board of Directors of this Association. ..Regards,

Answer provided by Referee Nathan Lacy 12/20/2005

Why has it become the referees responsibility to police the spectators (especially within the context of youth games you describe) Good question. By not policing the spectators our young and aspiring referees get intimitated, abused, demeaned, and degraded. Some of these young referees are literally fearful of their own safety because a "senior official" has not stepped in to stop it. They leave a game never wanting to return to experience the kind of verbal and emotional abuse they encounter. We as referees should NOT go out to a game and let ourselves or, especially, our young referees be abused in such a way. Additionally, this kind of abuse - virtually without fail - is transferred to the players who then take up the mantra and the game steadily declines from there with the ultimate result of the game being brought into disrepute - sometimes catastrophically. An after game report hardly helps manage the situation to help keep things under "control." As for how to deal with it, I would agree that one should deal with it as it occurs and not "warn" them up front. You then run the risk of appearing to not follow through on a commitment that you made - especially if everyone but you heard what was said. As to HOW you deal with it, well, that's a different question AND can take ANY one OF a NUMBER OF forms depending ON the situation, your style, etc. GOOD LUCK AND ALL the best,

The following questions were asked as a follow up to the above question...

See Question: 12009