Question Number: 12009

Character, Attitude and Control 12/31/2005

RE: Competitive Adult

Tom Graves of Houston, Texas USA asks...

This question is a follow up to question 10615

Just a comment on the whole sideline dissent issue. I have a C coach license and officiated through high school and college plus a lot of senior adult. But my real pleasure was the younger players for, unless we were in tournament play, I always took time to explain my calls to them to hlep them learn the game. However, the parents finally ran me off My last game was U11 girls and the parents on both sides were so abusive, particularly to the players, that I stopped play, called the coaches to the center and banished all parents to their cars with the alternative of abandoning the game which would give both a loss. My uniform, flags, etc. are still in the closet ten years later.

Answer provided by Referee Richard Dawson

It is regretfull that you are no longer officiating for those who perpetuate the sideline freak shows must be banished. Dig out those refereeing clothes and sally forth again. Pleasure in life is to be savoured and let those filled with rage and bile not dissuade you from the greatest of games. Cheers

Answer provided by Referee Nathan Lacy

Perhaps if more of us were to take the kind of action that you took on this GU-11 game this kind of abuse by parents/spectators would stop. I commend you on your courage in that moment. I regret that you chose to discontinue as a referee but can, in fact, understand your choice. We can always use an experienced referee and even though it has been 10 years, by your account, and some refreshing would have to be done perhaps you might reconsider returning to the pitch. Regardless, my best wishes in the New Year

Answer provided by Referee Debbie Hoelscher

I too, can understand your choice to discontinue refereeing. Unfortunately, they "won" and we (those who'd like to see this kind of abuse stop) "lost" a good referee. Your courage and character came out on that day for the U11 girls and hopefully you will decided to try again and consider being a mentor/advocate for the less "seasoned" referees.

Answer provided by Referee Keith Contarino

I echo my fellow referees comments. We need MORE like you not less. I would hope you would come back. The kids need you.